HIS FOCUS
I Need:
1. To be challenged, to have my limits pushed by you in order to grow.
2. To submit to you, to have that submission accepted and appreciated by you, and for you to exert control over me.
3. You to expect my obedience.
4. You to remind me of my submission.
5. You to not let me wander too far from that, or get away with too much.
6. You to treat your position responsibly.
7. You to have high standards for me, and for yourself.
8. Our relationship to progress, and for trust to grow.
9. You to pay attention to our relationship, that you guide it. That you train and shape me to your wants and desires, allowing me to become more valuable to you.
10. You hold me accountable to you.
11. You strive to be the best Dominant you can be.
12. You not to take on a passive role with me, that you not play victim to me, that you not force me into dominating you.
ETHICS
I Need:
13. To trust you - and that you'll try not to do things that compromise that trust.
14. To live a life of right action - to not be forced to lie, steal or act unethically.
15. To trust and be trusted, to respect and be respected (providing we haven't done something to disprove that).
16. You to believe I am an intelligent, caring and loyal person.
17. You to not treat my submission as weakness or as if it makes me somehow less than you.
MY HEALTH AND SAFETY
I Need:
18. To practice safe sex.
19. To be a sexual being, to express my sexuality, and to be touched sexually.
20. To be healthy.
21. To have my health issues taken seriously.
22. To not be treated abusively.
23. To expect you not to encourage me to take unnecessary risks.
24. To generally feel safe.
25. You not to put your wants above my needs.
COMMUNICATION
I Need:
26. You to trust me enough to lean on me at times, that you'll strive to let me help you when you need support.
27. To voice my feelings and concerns to you in a respectful manner, and for you to listen with an open heart and mind, with the understanding that you will have the final word (to right to seek counsel).
28. To have input in a relationship.
29. To be able to express my feelings and emotions.
PUNISHMENT / DISCIPLINE
I Need:
30. To be important enough to you, that you administer punishment, and don't let things slip out of convenience.
31. You to administer punishment with care and caution, more out of love than in anger.
32. To ask for clarification of orders given me when I don't understand them.
33. To make honest mistakes.
LOVE AND CLOSENESS
I Need:
34. You to allow me to get close to you.
34. You to allow me to get close to you.
35. You to introduce me to your friends and family.
36. You to spend time with me, that you generally enjoy my company.
37. You to accept, and learn to love my body.
38. To be loved and to love.
39. To be told if you feel that you cannot reciprocate the love that I feel for you.
40. To not be abandoned (if you put me on "subbie silence," that needs to be conveyed to me).
MISCELLANEOUS
I Need:
41. To set limits.
42. As much financial security as possible.
43. To maintain relationships with my friends and family.
44. To expect some privacy, as I need some alone time daily.
45. You to respect my need for confidentiality - I'm not public about my BDSM.
46. You to not force me to dominate another.
47. The right to say "no" if I need to.
Created by Tricia, with guidance from the Committed to Excellence Academy
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Committed_2_Xcellence_Academy/
January, 2010
